Why Spandex
by ziney800
Summary: Why spandex-like suits? Ever wonder? So have I... So this is a result of random wondering.
1. Chapter 1

WHY SPANDEX

WHY SPANDEX?

Abby: I'm sitting here with famous masked vigilante, Wolverine. You're a hard man to book. How are you?

Wolverine: Fine.

Abby: I'd like to get straight to the point-

Wolverine: interrupting Good.

Abby: There is one thing on my mind right now; what's with the spandex uniforms? It seems like all the do-gooders have them.

Wolverine: Because I like it, Bub. You got a problem with that?

Abby: No, no! Of course not! So, uh, does your hair grow like that naturally?

Wolverine: rips off microphone and walks away

Abby: So that concludes this interview. Stay tuned for my next awesome interview!


	2. Chapter 2

Abby: Welcome back to my series of interviews with world famous heroes from across the globe

Abby: Welcome back to my series of interviews with world famous heroes from across the globe. Today's guest is your favorite team, the Fantastic Four!

Reed: I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad to be here.

Johnny: Well Ben's having a hard time fitting on the set.

Abby: laughs Well we're very happy to have you here. As you've probably heard, I'm doing a piece on spandex uniforms. What made you all choose spandex?

Reed: Actually it's not spandex. It's a fabric made up of unstable molecules that allow our suits-

Sue: interrupting Reed, honey, I don't think everyone needs to know the science behind our suits. I think she just meant the skintight elastic feeling of the material.

Reed: Oh.

Johnny: See? This is why we call him the dumbest smart guy around.

Abby: laughs So, you all agree spandex suits are the most suited costume for the job?

Ben: They can be uncomfortable, like when you're in the middle of a fight and your spandex pants start giving you a major wedgie.

Abby: I can imagine.

random technician appears on the set and talks to the FF and the FF rush off the set

Abby: Well it appears the Fantastic For have work to do. That concludes this interview. I think this one went a little bit better than the last one. crowd cheers Until next time, I'm Abby Van Allen, the only one bringing you interviews with the greatest.


	3. Chapter 3

Abby: Welcome back to my series of interviews with world famous heroes from across the globe

Abby: I'm back again with one of the greats. Iron Man is here with us today, and though he doesn't wear a spandex suit, I'm sure he'll still help us shed some light on the topic. Hello, Tony.

Tony: Hello, Abby. How are you?

Abby: I'm great, what about you?

Tony: A little hungry, but other than that just peachy.

Abby: You're the first guest I've had that came without their costume. Congratulations.

Tony: Well, I've always thought of myself as a trend setter.

Abby: I know you don't have a spandex suit, but what would you say compels other heroes to wear them?

Tony: Actually I do wear a suit that's made of fabric that resembles spandex under the Iron Man suit. I don't understand why so many of us chose spandex. It shows off some embarrassing parts. A few too many curves.

Abby: That's what I thought. Would you say it's comfortable?

Tony: Well my suit's fairly comfortable. I'd love to stay and discuss spandex uniforms more thoroughly, but I've got a meeting my assistants been pestering me about for a month, in ten minutes.

Abby: Thank you for fitting us in your schedule. This brings us to the end of another interview. Don't forget, we'll be on again next week with another guest.


	4. Chapter 4

Abby: Welcome back to my series of interviews with world famous heroes from across the globe

Abby: Hello, my good viewers and boy do we have a great show in store for you today! Our guest is a surprise today! As you can see he hasn't dropped in yet.

Spider-man drops down from the ceiling by a web

Abby: It's our friendly neighborhood Spider-man!! crowds cheer Good to see you, Spidey. How have you been?

S-M: I'd be better if the villains would just turn themselves in for a change, but I'm good.

Abby: Hanging upside down from the ceiling doesn't look very comfy.

S-M: It's much more comfy than it looks. I just wanted to let you know, I watch your show every week when I'm not out fighting those bad guys.

Abby: Thanks! OK time to get to business. How do you like wearing that spandex suit?

S-M: Well if I could go to work in sweat pants and a T-shirt, I would. The costume kinda comes with the job, though. If you don't have a cool costume, who's going to take you seriously as a crime fighter? Plus the really bad guys have some pretty elaborate uniforms, it'd be a little unprofessional if us superheroes didn't have even better ones.

Abby:laughs That's a great point. Well, we're now coming to the end of our show. Spider-man, do you have any parting words for the audience?

S-M: Kids, be cool and stay in school. Don't do drugs. And don't turn into the next big bad super villain. And don't try getting bit by radioactive animals to get superpowers.

Abby: Thanks Spidey, those were wise words. Thanks for being on the show and keep up the good work with keeping NYC's streets safe. Next week another exciting interview!


	5. Chapter 5

Back stage before the show:

Abby: After what happened the last time we tried this, none of the big names want to have any part of this show. Apparently they see it as bad publicity?? At least we could get somebody.

Abby: We're ready? Time to go to work.

Minutes later, the cameras start rolling:

Abby: Sorry for the lack of new installments of our segment _WHY SPANDEX?? _As some of you may have heard, one of my producers had the bright idea to invite a villain on the show for a change to try and boost ratings. As it turned out, things got a bit out of control. and as a result of the lawsuits we received because of it, we are no longer filming in front of a live studio audience. Sorry, folks!

But to make up for it, I've got two very special guests here with me today!

Deadpool: I've been waitin' for the day I'd get invited on a famous talk show. I always said I had plenty of good advice and one day the people would realize it. I tried getting an appearance on Oprah, but she never called me back. She doesn't know what she's missing.

Hulk: *stares at camera*

Abby: Well we're very happy to have you here, Mr. Pool. And you too, Hulk. As you both probably know, we're here to talk about the reasoning behind the choice of spandex costumes among the superheroes of today. Any general thoughts on the matter?

Hulk: Hulk no wear spandex.

Deadpool: See those pants he's wearing? They used to be my size. You see that's my theory. If he had the right sized pants, maybe he wouldn't be so angry all the time. Maybe he should have spandex pant...

Hulk: HULK PANTS FINE!

Deadpool: What do have against spandex? Or are you trying to hide something that spandex would otherwise showcase?

Abby: Deadpool, please don't make him any angr--

Hulk: HULK SMASH TINY MAN!!!!!!!!! (picks up couch)

Abby: Not again!! (runs off stage)

Deadpool: (dodges couch) Either he's a little touchy, or I was right!

Hulk: SHUT UP PUNY MAN!

Abby: (not seen) Its a good thing we have no live audience... What are you doing?! The camera's still rolling?! TURN IT OFF!

BLANK SCREEN


End file.
